Sooo, long time no see. I’ve been delaying writing my next post until I’d finished optimizing my mailing list, but I don’t know; I just felt the urge to write just now, so. Hiya.
There was also the fact that my A-level exams will take place in a month, and the lack of time and all. To be honest I don’t really want to talk about that because it’s kind of… predictable? I’ve been studying a lot. Hope to get good grades. That’s pretty much it.
What does excite me, however, is the prospect of my life radically changing over the next year. It’s as if everything I’ve experienced so far doesn’t count. It’s all just been a prelude to my life, a way to set the scene. So far I’ve just been living on auto pilot, or uhh, how do I say this. I guess the idea I’m trying to express here is freedom. For the first time, the only person that could be held responsible for all that my life is, as well as all that it’s not, will be me. I won’t be a victim anymore. I mean, bad things will probably still happen, as they usually do with time. But how the events influence my well-being will be completely governed by my reactions, and my reactions only. And I tend to react quite well, mind you. So yeah, looking forward to it.
Also, I thought of this as I was writing that last paragraph up, but I bet that a theory in philosophy is that responsibility lends itself to freedom. Responsibility for your thoughts. Responsibility for your actions. Responsibility for your happiness. Interesting how the theme of freedom is often tied to self-reliance. Wait, but isn’t that the definition of “freedom” anyway? One sec.
Okay, it says in the Merriam-Webster dictionary that freedom is “the state of being free from the control or power of another.” Yeah, that seems to align with what I wrote. Except my example was more like being free from secondhand control, where other’s reactions to ~events~ in my life wouldn’t have a direct consequence. One that I care for, anyway. Hey, I’m human; I only care about things if they affect me in some way, and that’s just the way it is. Survival. This is off-topic, but just let me say this: you can argue that I care about hungry children in underdeveloped countries, and claim that that contradicts what I just said. But then I would have to say: No. Because those hungry children do affect me in some way. They make me sad.
Anyway, as I was saying, it seems that your freedom shrinks as the number of people who share a specific event increase. The way I see it, as long as you’re dependent on the judgement of someone else, it doesn’t matter how “positive” a thinker you are or how “mindful” you try to be of your emotions. None of that matters when someone else, whose reaction to an event you both experience has an observable effect, does not view things in the same way.
First thing, ok, second thing that came to mind (first was marriage) is elections. If you live in the states, then every four years an ~event~ is presented to you. It’s time to vote a new man (or woman) in office, and you are tasked with the responsibility of selecting a candidate based on your values and what you think would make for a good president. But the thing is, there are about 300,000,000 other people tasked with the same responsibility. 300,000,000 people that are sharing the same event, and whose reactions have an observable effect on how that event proceeds to influence your life. It really doesn’t statistically matter how you “try to make the best” of it. You’re outnumbered. Outweighed. Your reaction is only one of millions, to determine how an event plays out. In my opinion, you’re not free.
I guess this is where all those social paradigms about “sticking it to the man” and general “WAKE UP AMERICA” videos come from.
Okay, sure. In the grand scheme of everything, you’re powerless. Hell, we’re all powerless. When you think about the vastness of the Universe and how one natural disaster could wipe us all out like *that*, it’s pretty hard to feel like we’re not. Or at least it is for me, but anyway, my point is
Line break. My point is that everything is relative. Especially when it comes to universal themes like “freedom,” nothing is absolute. You can’t be absolutely free, nor absolutely unfree. It all depends on what kind of freedom it is that you value, and under what circumstances you would value it the most.
As for me, … I don’t know yet. I’m just excited to get out into the world and make new experiences that I could truly call my own, and for now, that’s good enough.