So I’m still having trouble deciding what to make this blog all about. My mom thinks it shouldn’t center too much on the personal details of my life, as that is unlikely to be of interest to most people. Or at least not enough to keep them coming back for more. But then again, I didn’t create this blog with the expectation that many people would read it nor that it would make me money. It’s mostly a means of self-improvement, a way to challenge a core belief of mine. See, I’m the type of person that doesn’t really believe in the value of interpersonal relationships. A cynic, if you will. I find it difficult to trust.
So, just like people who are afraid of heights are urged to skydive in an effort to “face their fears,” I’m writing this now to face mine.
I’m not trying to present myself in a certain way, or give off a certain vibe. I’d like to think I do the same in real life, but that’s doubtful. Whether we are aware of it or not, we are all playing a role, living out a persona. And that’s what keeps us sane.
Yet, what’s kind of contradictory is that, I actually *love* the experience of noticing another person, who I didn’t know existed before. For example, I used to be quite active on Google+, as it was one of my mediums of choice for personal branding. And besides posting a science infographic every two or three days, I derived the most pleasure from clicking on every username that would like my post or even follow me. I would love to read their bios, and try to wrap my head around who they think they are. It kind of blows my mind how many people there are in the world. Right now. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that the average person definitely exists for at least 300 people. I actually have no idea how accurate that is, and that depends on so many factors, but what I’m trying to say is this: when I see a profile, and a name, and read a bio, one more person is added to that number of people who know that that average person, is real.
Which is kind of interesting, isn’t it? I wonder if there’s a correlation between someone’s legitimacy and the number of people that are aware of it. Probably, right? That’s why the word “famous” has a positive connotation and “no-name” doesn’t.
That might actually be the real reason why I created this blog. Heck, that might be the reason why social media is even a thing. Except, I’m not sure if it’s the “social” aspect we all crave, or rather the feeling that we matter. I mean, if my thoughts are posted on the all-important Internet, for everyone to read, then surely I must be important? Or at the very least, I must believe that my thoughts are worth posting about.
I created this blog to feel important. Sure that doesn’t sound very nice, but most truths behind why we do the things we do don’t.
But then again, how do we even know that those “truths” are not just dogmas that sound right, but have no real basis in actual research? Can anything that cannot be proven by science be proven at all? And if a belief is then neither true nor false, is it even worth believing in?
I don’t know. I just might think about it though, and write another post.
To, you know, feel important.