Love at No Sight

I know I just stayed up all night writing my last post, but being home alone for days at a time makes me pensive. And dare I say, even romantic. My mom thinks it’s obvious in the way I write and even in the way I look, but in case you didn’t know, I’m actually a very romantic person. I truly believe in the power of love, and would give anything and everything to a person I cared for.

 

I got inspired to sit down and write after I caught myself longingly looking out the window at the night sky, thinking about the possible whereabouts of my unknown beloved. Wondering if he was thinking about me, just like I was thinking about him. Of course we haven’t met each other yet, but who knows! It’s still a nice thought to entertain. Gives hope.

 

Now this is the part where things might seem to get a little crazy, but my heart’s telling me I should do this. So, without further ado, here’s a love letter to you. (Yes, I’m pretending he’s reading this right now. Maybe he will in the future! Then this would later make sense.)

 

 

To you:

 

 

Yes, these were the kinds of thoughts I was having at eighteen. Can you blame me! I’ve never been in a relationship before, and as a mere human being, craving intimacy is only natural. I wonder what you’re feeling now as you’re reading this. Am I sitting right next to you? Or have you read this once before, and are rereading this as I’m sound asleep? Or maybe I’m even reading this out loud to you, for dramatic effect. I don’t know. Hope you like this, by the way :)

 

I hope to be a good mother for our children, as I realize how important that is. If we already have children, I do hope they are the number one priority in our lives, and that we take the utmost care to treat and respect them as individuals. Even though I may have given birth to them, we do not “own” them as if they were property. We do not have the right to lay a finger on them, unless it were for cuddling or giving warm, tight hugs. As they were created from an act of love, love is the first thing that a child knows, and should ever continue to know. Only when that is achieved can we be considered good parents.

 

Ok, so that wasn’t as romantic as you were maybe anticipating, but I just had to say that. Moving on.. oh, and be sure to take good care of your guys’s health! Remember, health is the greatest wealth. Speaking of wealth, it’s overrated. If you have a surplus of money in your guys’s bank account, I demand it be donated right now. No matter what, your hearts must never harden.

 

I feel like I’m talking more to my future self now, but don’t ever let me see you get arrogant. I don’t care if you have five PhDs and you invented freaking time travel; you must always walk humbly. And genuinely humbly! Don’t forget — you’ll be dead soon. And when you’re buried six feet in the dirt, with only a tombstone and a couple of bones left as your physical legacy, the only people who will care for you is your family. If even. I know my mom, who deeply loved her parents, only visits their graves once a year. The truth is, life goes on, with or without you.

 

So that right there was addressed towards me. I wrote a similar letter to my 17-year-old self a couple years back. I’d love to find it and read it, though I think it might’ve gotten lost. Oh well.

 

You know what, just think of this as tough love. More than anything, I just want to see you both on the right path. I do care a little about how rich or powerful you both have become, but in the end, it’s not important. Just be good people. Be kind. Be patient. And most importantly, have faith. I love you, by the way. I don’t know how vocal about my feelings I’ll be once I’m in an actual relationship, but just know that I love you.

 

Considering how eager-to-share I can be (I mean, c’mon, just look at this website) you probably know everything there is to know about me already. I most likely haven’t spared even one family photo. You know all my deepest darkest secrets.. even some that I don’t even know yet ;) Ah, the privilege of living in the future. You know so much more than me, even about myself. Today is the third of February, of the year 2018. Can you remember what you were doing? What kind of person you were? Did you feel me thinking about you tonight?

 

Welp, I have to wake up at 8 in the morning tomorrow to bring down the trash. That’s four hours from now. Oh yeah, and I hope I fixed that awful sleep schedule of mine. But then again, that’s up to me, isn’t it? :)

 

Good night, and thank you for existing. You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for you. If it meant eventually being with you, I’d wait for you forever.

 

 

Esin

 

 

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